lekilneje

Before we continue any further into the story, it must now be made abundantly clear that every line spoken by a Carrotian in this chronicle is but an approximation to the complexity of the Carrotian language, and a poor one at that. Much like the Inuit language, which contains several dozen different words for snow, the Carrotian language supports countless different ways of describing brushstrokes, collages, application of glue, application of glitter, and tiny details on the surface of pylons. In fact, the moment that Poll realised that there was something incredibly crooked with her own civilization, and thus began her descent into a dec

"I don't know how many guards are still alive," Shilee's voice rung through the spacious hallway. "So you better keep your gun ready." He peeked around the edge of the wall, searching the irregularily illuminated corridor.  "Think it's all safe here, though." "That's comforting," Poll muttered, her left arm still clinging around Tinn's body. He was still awake, but only barely; every once in a while, he'd attempt to faint again. His sighs and moans were occasionally punctuated with half-sentences regarding Primari acoustics and the modern carrot. She made a quick mental note to look into aversion therapy as soon as possible. "Now will you st

There is not a civilization in which starship guards are not generally nasty men who like to point intimidating guns at people. The Carrotian and Primari guards, however, are also very much inclined to writing poetry about how much they like to walk around pointing intimidating guns at people, and how much they loathe people attempting to reason with them about getting another job. Being a guard is not a particularily popular job on either planet, and being one usually means being born into it. It also generally means that these guards have become so jaded about the entire concept of art that even the late great Origami Master of Carrotia Ef

It is a generally well-accepted fact that Carrotians do not deal well with stress. In fact, they are so horrible at coping with the more stressful qualities of life that many necessary vocations are only filled because of government orders and violent threats. Military service is particularly undesirable, and history has counted only three Carrotians who volunteered for the infantry. Master General Ossin Gratzl, who founded the Infantry Force to begin with, reasoned that the force was necessary to keep Carrotia safe from all that might threaten it. Gonniz Eteyn, singer of internationally reviled rockgroup The Retrievers, reasoned that her pl

She came to. Or, well, she hoped that her newly acquired clarity of mind meant that she'd come to, because opening her eyes didn't change a single thing in her perception. She grasped hold of an ornamental wallpiece (or, at least, what she hoped was an ornamental wallpiece) and pulled herself to her feet. God, her head hurt. "Tinn? You there? Tinn?" Her hand rummaged around in the darkness, but encountered only easily shattered porcelain. Poll cursed the designers of this ship under her breath for the millionth time in her life. A whiny, high-pitched voice made its way through the darkness. "My head hurts.. OW!" Poll yanked him up onto h